Is anyone actually reading this?

<begin vent/frustrated rant>

Happy New Year everyone,

Yesterday I spent way too long on the computer, still researching my North African trip; partly because I know so little about it, partly because the media says its very dangerous at the moment, and party because I’m terrified about what could happen to me.

But, I’ve trolled the CouchSurfing forums, GlobeTrooper, LonelyPlanet’s ThornTree, and a bunch of other equally good sites, and people are doing it… casting their fears aside and exploring this beautiful world of ours.

I don’t know much, but I do know that it’s on my bucket list to see the Sahara, to trek around like a nomad. So I should just make it happen. But I’m letting that anxiety and fear grab me by the balls and squeeze. The result is I’m sitting in my box — my comfortable little box — and dreaming about the world outside. Gah! Like I was for the last 10 years before this epic solo trip.

Long-story-short, I’m going to buy a ferry ticket, see what happens when I leave the safety of the EU.

I’m also questioning whether to keep up the blogging. I get the feeling that not many people are reading, or if they are, they sure-as-sh!t aren’t engaging with me. Let’s start a community, and talk about stuff. I have a backlog of hundreds of stories to tell, but I’m not just going to piss into the wind, I need feedback.

I read a post today about how blogging changed this bloggers life, all I hear about from other bloggers is how many media trips they are getting, or how awesome their life is now they’ve all found each other on twitter. Well, I’m on twitter, and I still haven’t figured it out. I’m not looking for a free lunch, but an invite to the lunch would be awesome; I work hard, I can pay my own way.

Maybe I just need a mentor.

I definitely need a site upgrade, and to get all these ideas in my head down on the keyboard… but that takes time and money, I have one, but not the other. I’m meant to be travelling, outside in the sunshine, meeting new people… not hunched over trying to retell stories of my adventures — and building a life of interwebz success.

One of my resolutions this year is to just write freely, and honestly. Instead of drafting things down in a notebook, editing and re-editing, then writing a post. It takes way too long.

New Year, new me. I’m mixing things up. Spending even less time attempting to social network with other bloggers and media folk. It’s about adventure, that’s for sure. If anybodies out there, speak now… and I might keep on writing.

p.s. this is what it looks like when I spill out my thoughts onto the interwebz, unedited.

</ end vent/frustrated rant>

* flickr header image credit Roger’s Wife.